Happiness Wasn’t Found In Hair Extensions

What’s The Episode About…

In this very first episode of You Are Not The Boss Of Me, a podcast created to make an impact on women pretty much at any point of their lives, we are going to start making the right questions to find our mission and take control of our narratives. 

On today’s episode  I’m going to take you, step by step, through my process of creating a seven-figure business and although It wasn’t always easy nor glamorous, trust me my hair extensions would tell you.

I’m going to teach you how to build a strong supporting system, but most of all, how to recognize your power and to gain the confidence and the courage to live a big life.  

Join me in this adventure and let’s create this great sisterhood where we can inspire others to achieve their goals.

 

Learn More About The Content Discussed…

Join the Camp Elevate private group: http://thecampelevategroup.com

Subscribe to the podcast on Apple, Spotify, Google, or your favorite app!

 

When Did It Air…

October 7, 2019

 

Episode Transcript…

Hey, Hey, welcome to episode number one. You are listening to episode number one of your, not the boss of me. Hey friend and welcome. I am so excited that this podcast is finally in your earbuds or in your car, wherever you’re listening. You’re not. The boss to me has been a project of mine that I’ve been working on for six months and I finally have my act together to get this down and done and dirty and out the door because over and over and over again, I kept thinking, who am I speaking to? Who am I helping? How is my story going to impact and what are we going to give to you so that it’s something that each episode you’re looking forward and you’re gaining knowledge and you’re like, I’m there. I’m doing it. Yes, yes, yes. Like I want you in the gym or walking your dog and I want you to be in like, yes.

 

So it took me a bit of time because I’m in a little bit in transition as well in terms of how I first built a seven-figure business and now how I’m leaning into continuing to build that business, adding another business to the plate, but doing it this time without sacrificing and going crazy. And you hear the stories of, I haven’t washed my hair in six days. Dry shampoo is my friend and I locked myself in my office. That’s, and we’re done with that. So we’re going to build businesses your way. And my, my mission is to help women get out of the weeds, to gain the confidence and the courage to live a big life, to make more money, but do it your way. So what do we have to do to do that? Are we have to really figure out what is your mission?

 

What is your power? What’s your superpower? Lean into that. Get rid of all of the doubt and get into the action that feels right for you. Because the way I’ve built my business, and I started in 2014 at that time I had a teenage daughter and a tween son at home, McKenzie and Donny, a husband that was working his tail off, super, super, super stressed out, super stressed out. And that year, 2014 and I was like stuffing emotions by going to target and buying more things. And then, of course, that is not a way to solve any problem. I mean, not that I have anything against target and I’m all about target purchases, but many of us stuff, the emotions of what’s going on. I know this, I’ve done it, I’ve been there, I’ll talk about it. But what was really going on right in front of me as I was treading water and I didn’t want to admit it?

 

Okay. Because, and I’ll tell you this story and I hope you can relate to this. I had just turned 40 and it was seven years before I actually launched the business. I started at 47 so I get a lot of women that I work with. I do get to work with a lot of young moms in my network marketing company that I have 11,000 on my team, but the women that I coach and work with the most are in their forties maybe fifties and they’re working on like what now? I’ve got life still to live, my kids are heading off to college, I’m going through the motions and I feel stuck and I like to think about it as like kind of in the weeds sinking a little bit and some days sinking more than other days. And I want you to get out of bed in the morning and have a mission and a plan and love what you do.

 

Whether you are in network marketing, we can shift it. So it is centered around your passion in your message or there are many people out there, many of you that are thinking, wait, I’ve got my own thing I want to do and I want to figure it all out. So I remember my husband walking in the bedroom one day and I had as all the things I couldn’t figure out. And I think in the time I was experiencing some depression and I like to put myself out there as consistently and constantly being this positive and upbeat person. I had gained a tremendous amount of weight in a short amount of time. A lot of it was because I wasn’t sleeping at night. Um, I literally would sleep for maybe 30 minutes and I’d get up and I just kind of stare at the wall and then I, the next morning would come along and I’d snap at my kids for no reason at all.

 

I don’t think I was very much fun to be married to at the time. And my husband looked at me and he’s like, what can we do? What is it that’s going to make you happy? And I don’t even know if he remembers this conversation, but I was like, I had cut my hair off. I thought I was going to look like posh. And I didn’t. I looked like a bad Dorothy Hamill. So I’d gained some weight. I had this short hair, I wasn’t feeling feminine at all. I felt like crap. And I looked at him and I said hair extensions. And he was like, okay. So I went out, I got this head full like I think I spent $2,000 and this is like I said before I started my business and I thought, you know, those hair extensions were really gonna solve it. So if you can relate to that, like you think that next thing.

 

And that’s what’s happened to me now in my business is I kept thinking, okay, when I get that trophy, when I get that, when I walk that stage, when I do these things, that’s when I’ll feel that it’s enough. And so I want to take you back to 2014 now. I had the hair extensions and I actually had some really good friends. Thank you, Heather, for doing an intervention. They’re like, listen. And they were back when they didn’t even have, you couldn’t, I don’t know. I think there are way better hair extensions now. In fact, I’ve had them, but I looked like it was a terrible tragedy. And I’m my friends, like to meet us at the hair salon. They did an intervention with my hair. Thank you, Lord. But anyway, I’m telling you that because it’s a shallow solution to someone that was really, really, really feeling stuck.

 

And I wish I had had a sisterhood at the time I had friends, but I, and I wish I had had something for me. And that was just the first indication that I was struggling because I’ve always been highly independent. I always had this vision for wanting to do something, wanting to build. I wanted my own money. Not that I know that that’s hard to say out loud, but I didn’t want to answer to anyone and I wanted, I wanted something and I couldn’t put my fingers on what it was. And then it kind of spiraled. So then, then we had 2008 come along and we own our own business and we did a lot of overspending. We did a lot of real estate. That was the law, it just got gross and it got stressful and everything was on the shoulders of Dawn of, okay, so you’re going to have to fix this again.

 

And that wasn’t who I was. I was raised, my mom is a strong mama. You don’t know Olga, you need to know Olga. And so I don’t quite remember the details, but what happened was I didn’t plan to start a business. I didn’t plan to build a multimillion-dollar team and talk to thousands of people. That was an accident. And what I can tell you is that the universe arrived for me that day because I had been doing, I started meditating and praying and saying, give me some vision of where I can go, like what can I do? And I had thought, could I do something in education? I had started a million businesses that I never followed through on. At one point I bought $10,000 worth of um, children’s clothing for a pop-up boutique. I was going to open and, and honestly, Don never even said a word because I think in those years, as I think back, he was so discouraged and, and couldn’t understand.

 

And I remember him saying to you, when will it be enough? When do you have every, like he kept attempting to do the things he knew I wanted to do. And this is a very personal story for me. It may not relate to you, but we want, we, we did horses. Um, that’s the industry that he’s in and he just kept working harder to provide. And I think it was very discouraging. And I remember another conversation and I was complaining about something super minor because when you’re not happy inside and you’re not living, you’re not living your truth or what, I just couldn’t put my finger on finding my happy if that makes sense. And looking back, I think it was dealing, I think I was in a dark place. I know I was dealing with some depression and I would put on that lip gloss.

 

I would go out, I would put on a great act. I, I loved, I loved those years. There were so many good memories of those years, so many good years of when my kids were little. But then about the time I hit 40, 41, 42 43, we were dealing with some financial stress and I knew, I was like, here’s the thing, I have an entrepreneurial husband who has always figured it out. And so I could’ve said, okay, he’ll figure it out, but there was just this moment when it felt like I needed to to get back together and I remember calling my mom and I was crying and I said, I just, I got it. Do something here. He’s working so hard, I feel like I’m isolated, and she just said, then figure it out, get a job, contribute, do something. It was, she didn’t say it like that, but she kind of just said, okay, what’s the solution?

 

And I started to lean into what were the businesses I had thought about things that I could do and like I said, I started in network marketing by accident, but not really. I had watched people have massive success. I had watched people with that business model and I understood it. I understood this. Part of it was I didn’t have time to build a website at the time. I probably did, but I didn’t have the personal development that I have. I’m so thankful for the five years because I was not, I didn’t have routines, I didn’t have rituals, I didn’t have habits that I have now in place that have allowed the clarity and the mindset and the strategies. And I’ve had a lot of mentors and coaches along the way. So 2014, I watch a friend in Montana, her name is Elise, and she’s all this, she’s killing it, she’s having success.

 

And Blair and I said, okay, let’s take a look. Let’s take a look at the marketing at the product, at how we can build wealth and also, um, help people to do the same. And that’s always, that’s always been the biggest piece. And I’ll tell you, I started, I didn’t know what the heck I was doing. It’s a product that I love. It’s a product that helped me to get out of the weeds emotionally. And it’s also a product that helped me to fight all that inflammation in my body. Remember I wasn’t sleeping and I was feeling like I was like, I keep saying in the weeds like so if you’re not passionate about what you’re selling, it’s really hard to do and you’ll come off as a fake. So I was super relieved that it was, this was a product I could get behind and it was also something that I knew that other people needed to have.

 

But what I didn’t realize on this path was I would come into contact with so many women that might not be a fit for what I was doing. They might buy the product, but they were so curious about how did you make the decision to go forward? How did you go from that day in 2014 when it just seemed like I seriously was sleeping in until 10 and it was summer and my kids were like just sitting on the couch and I’m like, this is not who I want to be. I want to experience, I want to find that girl. Where is that girl? Where had she gone? And it was discouraging because I knew that my loss of myself was impacting those people that I loved so much. And I also, you guys wanted independence. I wanted to be able to like I wrote on a piece of paper, I will make $1 million by and I wrote the date and that’s the first time I ever experienced.

 

And now I’m like an obsessive manifester and so into doing the inner work that it takes to build a business. But I want to tell you that I wrote it down and I just got to work. So I didn’t start to think, okay, is this really my passion? What’s my Instagram strategy? What can I do here and how do I send this message? Any business is about this. And I built seven-figure earning meaning commissions of more than seven figures. And I just got into action. And along the way, the passion for what my message was to help women find theirs, like I tell people all the time, Oh, I help women get their groove back. I help them to elevate all areas of their life and show them it’s okay to want money. It’s okay to want your own thing, but let’s make sure that we have all of those pieces together.

 

But more than anything, this podcast is going to give you the strategies, the courage, the confidence. I’m going to bring you the connections I have worked with along the way. So I started and the moment I had this epiphany, a friend of mine who joined me in the business hit her first bonus and she made $600 and this podcast is not, I’m going to give a lot everything on it is going to, it can be related to network marketing. If you’re a network marketer, if you are not, it is also going to be applicable to your life and your business. But in network marketing, if you’re not familiar with it, there’s usually quick-start bonuses and any business. I am now obsessed with the idea that people need to have success right away. They need to see money in their bank account because that is the way that you keep going.

 

You. And she called me in tears and she said, I was able to actually buy the school supplies for my kids this week. I was worried that they weren’t going to have anything new and she was crying and she said, thank you so much. And I thought at that moment, this is so much bigger than you, Beth, you have an obligation and a responsibility to figure this out so that you can show the way. So I didn’t, like I said, anything that you’re going to do in life, I don’t even care if it’s like you’re gonna train for a fitness competition. This applies to everything of you is you’ve got to take that first step. And that’s what I did is I sat at the kitchen table, I looked at my kids and I said, okay, I have to think so differently now. I mean, we tell the fit, like let’s, let’s put a plan together.

 

But I think that the thing is is I just got to work. I’m like, okay, what’s the first step? What do I do? Okay, here’s how it’s going to work. And I took a hundred sticky notes. I put them on the wall and I thought, if I can help a hundred people either make money or feel better, then I can be successful. And so I started just moving sticky notes. I started thinking, and this is what I didn’t realize was I’ve been an incredible salesperson my whole life. I didn’t really know I was in sales because I love, and I want you to think about this, the connection that you make with someone to find out how you can help their pain and frustration or how you can help them with whatever it is that they need that is going to serve you forever.

 

And that is going to allow you to see, okay, how can I help? So if you’re selling, like here’s an example, when we were getting a car for McKenzie, the very best salesperson of all the places we went, he spoke to our needs, safety, her needs music. And there were a couple of other things, but he started asking the right questions. So that’s what I do. And that’s what this podcast will be about is about what are the right questions that we need to start asking to help you to declutter what’s going on to help you. My goal is to help you to keep doing what you’re loving, to start doing what you want to do and to stop the insanity on the things that you don’t want to do anymore. I’m going to help you to put a structure in place that is going to help you to have a daily plan, a DMO, a daily method of operation that not only helps you to build a business beyond your wildest dreams cause you can do it if I did it, you guys, hot mess express over here, you can do it, but that also allows you to connect with your true North.

 

What is it that really gets you out of bed in the morning? And also how can you reconnect with the people that you love, the friends that you miss. Do you find yourself scrolling Facebook and do you have insomnia because something’s missing in your life and you’re like, Oh I wish I did this, this and this? We’re going to work through how to get that happening for you. Again, if you’re missing it, all the areas work together. When you start taking action that is based on more than just hustle and grind, but your intuition and really leading into what it is that you want and how you will serve and what that’s going to look like, how that course will look. We’re gonna reclaim that power ladies. Let’s do it. And another big piece of what I’ve found is there is a missing sisterhood and that is one of the things.

 

I had good friends but we all get busy doing our thing. And I didn’t have a, I don’t know, a council if you want to call it. And what I found over the last, it’s been the last two years that I’ve started to host retreats and I loved summer camp. I’m like the best camper in the world. Like, cause I love campfires and smores and all the things I went camping forever. Black river, farm, and ranch. If you have daughters, you send them to that camp. It’s in Croswell, Michigan. You send me a message, I’ll tell you how to get them there because it was truly where I found my power and I found my circle. And when I think back and I worked with a mentor that asked me this question recently and she said, tell me about the times in your life when you felt the most powerful, when you felt the most alive, when you felt the most spark.

 

And it kept coming back to when I was hosting retreats for the team or when I was hosting retreats for people that were looking for building out their business plan, summer camp, um, being with other women in a space that allows growth, honest conversations, learning, mentoring. I did a mastermind in Greece and huge, huge, huge things happen for me there because I was able to be around the support network and we pushed each other too, to raise our level of what we want in life. But also to have mentoring and guidance. So if you’re stuck in thinking you need the perfect Instagram feed and you think that I can teach you the perfect ways to post on social media, so the algorithm will bring people coming to you. I have some strategies, but that’s not what this is all about. This is calling that girl.

 

That one. For me, it was summer camp. I was 14 years old and then again it was when the kids were really little and I couldn’t wait to get up in the morning and then she reappeared again in 2014 and I looked at my husband and I was, I was headed out for a trip to, I think I was going to Vegas to meet some of our, some of my team and do some training out there and he just looked at me and he’s like, I love that you’re back. And I had this guilt of why, where did I go? What did that message say to the people that I love? But it’s, this is what I’m going to tell you. It’s okay to want to reclaim your power. It doesn’t mean you love anybody any less. It means that you are truly and honestly going to be better.

 

You’re going to make more money, you’re going to be able to do those things. You’re going to be able to make an impact, and that’s what this podcast is going to bring to you. I am going to do my very best each week to help you, to map your mission, to help you to chart what that course is going to look like, how to set goals, how to take action, what to do when you’re not taking that action, how to find that supportive sisterhood and how to just step into and lean into what it is that you want to do. And if you’re stuck, we’re going to unstuck. I’m going to show you how to get unstuck, unstuck, a ball. That’s my new word, is that most of the time when we’re feeling stuck, it’s just a little push. It’s taking the first step, then the next step, then the next step, but a lot of it comes from doing the inner work.

 

It comes from having the courage and it comes from persistence because I didn’t have the inner work when I started. I just had persistence and I don’t know where that courage came from. But then what happened was I started making money and I really liked making money and I started to have connection and I started helping other people to do the same, make money, have more connection, have a little bit of fire in their life again and I became pretty much addicted to helping people see that outcome. And so then that brings us to today, the podcast, the launch of, you’re not the boss of my podcast and also camp elevate, which you can find us over on Facebook in the show notes. I want you to come to our free group because we do, it’s all free over there and we do different challenges.

 

Right now currently we’re working on, we’re doing a book club on Gabrielle Bernstein and we’re, we’re putting meditation and all kinds of mindset work into our lives and we cheer for each other and we, we have a whole lot of fun. So you can go over there to the camp, elevate group.com and join us. I’d love for you to screenshot, say hello to me on Instagram. And this is what my challenge is for you, is I want to hear from you where you are winning and where you need to grow. So if you would do me a favor, I always answer the DMS. You can find me on Facebook at Beth hold and graves and you can find me on Instagram and send me a message about here’s where I want to get unstuck, here’s where I’m winning and what is your big vision for the future.

 

And I cannot wait to dive in. I’ve got so many freaking amazing people that are going to be on this podcast that has helped me with my power plan, with, I call it the empower heard path, get it empowered path marketing, geniuses, mindset coaches, mentors that are million-dollar mentors that are, that help to create millionaires. And also I have a lot of guests that will help us to do that inner work because if we are missing the mindset and the belief and the courage, the mind is what messes with us the most. Remember you guys. I thought hair extensions, we’re going to do it all and I did look good for a few weeks. I can even share one of my hair extension pictures with you. Looked good for a few weeks till I went on the boat. I had a couple of cocktails. I didn’t realize they were all tangled and pretty soon I had like the Brittany Spears hair going on.

 

I think she like… I don’t know. That was a long time ago. Someone look up Brittany Spears’ hair extension dilemma and that was mine. So what I want to do is help you to reconnect. I want to help you with that business that might be stuck or maybe your business isn’t stuck, but you want to take it to the next level. Like you want to make more money or maybe you’ve got a whole new idea that’s just sitting there and you’re thinking, I don’t want to do that. I was starting a podcast. I want to start a coaching program. I want to speak on stages. I want to write a book and I want you to write it all down because we are going to do the damn thing. You guys, we are going to do it and so I want to leave you with this today is why not you?

 

If you’re sick of someone else being the boss of you, if you’re not feeling supported, if you’re sick of going to work every day and not living your best life, and I know that sounds like the kind of like live your best life, like a commercial that would play music. I’m here to tell you, you can reignite, you can do this at any age and it’s not too late. It is going to be work, but it doesn’t have to be locking yourself in your room and using dry shampoo every day for 17 days. But we’re going to do is, is put out the path, get the plan, give you the self-care, get you to have fun again and to connect to some awesome and amazing humans that will become your support team along the way. So please come with me every single week. I would love to have you with me on this journey and I also would love to hear from you.

 

So if you are excited about this podcast, will you please give me a five-star review? I know it’s early, but those five-star reviews help us to get to more women that might need to hear this message today because I wish I had a podcast back when I was sitting there going, what now? What now? What now? And I hope to take what I’ve learned, some of the mistakes that I’ve made along the way cause I’ve made a ton, but some of the success that I was able to claw and get to and a lot and some of it you guys were just pure luck. But I also realize now that a lot of what has happened for me has been to really lean into the vision, really lean into what goes on in terms of the manifesting, asking your higher power if it’s God for you and putting that all out there and knowing that you are so deserving and I can’t wait to win with you.

 

I can’t wait for you to get to the next level and I can’t wait to see how this podcast unfolds because I’m an evolution right now as well. There’s a lot changing in my world. There’s a lot that I, I know I, I did a retreat. I’m going to, I’m going to share one more thing. I had a retreat with 10 women last week and I had been praying. I had been just like Dre after my meditation. I use a lot of what Gabby Bernstein talks about and, and I was just like, show me, show me, bring to me. Let me be clear on what it is that I do. Well, there’s a lot that I need help with. I just took my strengths assessment. We’re going to do a whole episode, but I know what I do well. And while I was there, there was just magic, a magical awakening of these women, the connection and the powerful stories and then the plans and now the support network that’s happening beyond the retreat that we’re all working together.

 

We’re seeing so many pieces of life starting to make sense and businesses really starting to grow and other goals for health and wellness were made and goals for how to make an impact. People that they want to help. And I just realized that’s the magic right there. That is magic. And that is what we’re going to do is, is we are going to be the Queens of our kingdom. We’re going to continue to push and help and serve and let’s do it. Let’s do it. Let’s have an extraordinary life. Thank you so much for tuning in today. Don’t forget, I would love to hear from you over on Instagram. Give me a topic. We’ll do a podcast, and if I’m not an expert in it, which I’m not all the time and expert, although, um, my kids would tell you that I believe I’m an expert of all things I will find, I am a master connector. I mean, I will go out and seek out the person that can bring us that knowledge and answer those questions and help us all to win. And I can’t wait to do it alongside you. I’ll talk to you all next episode.